I thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Hmmmm.... What do you mean with "normal" in the title?
How could anybody know what normal means, especially when "yesterday" crazyness and chronically failing judgements were normal?
By saying that I agree to your "Take your time. Be gentle with yourself." And with your writing! I congratulate you for these thoughts and moves.
It is painful to acknowledge the part one played in a toxic relationship. And - that is probably not "normal". However it is human and an opportunity to explore human life.
Your first two paragraphs to me sound like the abusive relationship is being replaced with an addictive substance abuse.
I don´t know anything about you, so I apologise if my words disturb you.
I would like to hear your answer, Dear Estrella.