To make a thing strong, you must treat it as if it is strong. And this love cannot do. Love treats one as if they are weak. Love is a welcome reprieve, a safe place to let down your guard and enjoy warm tranquility, but too much softness and one grows soft. There is a certain cruelty to kindness.
I am not sure about your view on love. Certainly, it is interesting to read.
However, I think differently about love.
Research shows that children who have bonded and de-bonded (!) in a healthy way get to be the most strong, relaxed and self-secure adults.
That is what I see in love: A high quality phenomenon that provides us with everything: strength, weakness, softness and mercilessness.
Love, for me, is nothing like kitsch or sissification.
Love requires the strength of the lovers to let the other be and thrive, even if that means to let them go.
How can anybody get stronger, and more complete and self-sufficient than that?
Coaches and trainers of course have their place, too. (I am such a coach as well)
But coaching and training is needed only because there is so much misunderstood and co-dependent parenthood, childhood, and romantic BS à la Hollywood.
If children got the love that expanded their consciousness from their parents and the environment instead of fear, belittling and a negative self-image (and imagination), no one would need a coach.
We would be connected to our creative and limitless forces from the start.
Nobody would lie and cheat because everybody would be ok with a "NO".
If we got a "NO", we would say "Thank you. Good luck! What else is there?"That, also is love!
We are just so detached from our infinite powers because we do not believe in the healing and affirming forces of love. Parents believe in their negative beliefs and in the subconscious shapings of the collective consciousness, which is full of insecurities and unproven facts on autopilot.
That leads to children full of insecurities and self-hatred and to adults that belittle the greatest things!
People who DARE to let love rule them are the bravest in my opinion.
What do you think about that, Martin?