Growing up, I heard that it was dangerous for girls and women to be beautiful and sexy a thousand times.
“Do not wear lipstick, nor that skirt, or you will invite evil!” prophesied the elders to every generation of beautiful fellow women.
To look sexy meant to be unsafe.
The same elders asked, “What was she wearing?”, after a man had violated, raped, or killed a woman.
Even prosecutors and judges asked about the woman’s attire to get an “overall and objective” impression of the story. …
You have probably encountered affirmations before:
You formulate a sentence with a desirable statement as if it were already a reality. Affirmations often begin with “I am …” or “I have …” because these words are some of the most convincing words to impregnate our brains.
Great affirmations sound like “I am happy”, “I am healthy”, “I am strong”, “I have everything I want” and similar.
Everything we listen to throughout the day shapes our brains. If you hear, “you are competent,” all your life you will eventually start to believe that you are competent. Hearing this will lead you to situations in which you act effectively and successfully and altogether you will produce proof that you are competent. This will reinforce your belief that you are competent. …
I overheard a conversation in which a woman kept starting her sentences with “Honestly, …” or “To be honest, …”. She did that at least four times during the half-hour I sat within earshot.
When she did it the second or third time, I started to doubt her sincerity. Why would you, in an everyday chat, announce that the following statement will be honest? Apparently, she was talking to her friend, and nobody questioned her integrity.
Thus, her story felt like a fabrication to me.
She irritated and annoyed me.
“To be honest, …” — What was that supposed to mean??
Did she otherwise not speak honestly?
Did her singular, honest statements need advance notices?
Would she, after saying these words, speak out the ultimate blow? …
I was born in a country that no longer exists: the FRG. Then I lived in a country that no longer exists: Yugoslavia. After that, I moved to a country that was never recognized as a sovereign state: Taiwan. Now, I live in a country that 30-something years ago had a different name, different borders, and a different political ideology: the GDR.
My Croatian papers still show my married name, which was Greek. After my divorce, I gave up the Greek name.
To “own” MY current name, both in my homeland Croatia and globally, I would need to start a confusing, time and money-consuming paper war with Zagreb, the Capital of Croatia. …
I read this sentence in Janine’s blog about infidelity, and it enlightened me:
“Anyone who cheats is just too stupid to love!”
If there is stupid love, then there has to be intelligent love, too!
The question “How can I love smartly?” thrilled me!
The phenomenon of LOVE has inspired a whole armada of writers, thinkers, artists, prophets, priests, and philosophers to add their point of view about what love is, how it feels and how to live it.
Some of them are intellectual discourses, and some are documents of how they approached, observed and practised it — In the meantime, we have probably gained more cultural descriptions of how NOT to love. …
When I was seven years old, we moved back to Germany after three years of living in Croatia, then Yugoslavia. We came back for my second year of primary school. My German was not the best. Actually, I had forgotten it completely.
However, we lived in a district with a lovely children’s and youth library. My friend Michi took me there, and from then on, I got hooked!
The children’s library was right on my way to school, and at least once or twice a week, I stopped by to return a stack of books I had read. …
They say that it is impossible to overcome Co-Dependency.
That postulate mirrors the equivalent regarding alcoholism: If you suffer from alcoholism once, you will stay an alcoholic forever. No matter that you started sober life years or even decades ago — you still count as an alcoholic.
But — in my opinion, for Co-Dependency, this is not accurate, and I am here to prove that.
I loved and married a functioning alcoholic.
With him, I became co-dependent and with that, unfortunately, his enabler.
He nearly killed us both. I left him and started a new life.
Now, my life feels light years away from alcoholism and Co-Dependency — but the topic has not left me at all: I still research and learn more and more about it.
I believe that once you understand how alcoholism and co-dependency work, you see such and similar patterns everywhere in human interaction. …
Look someone you don’t know in the eyes for a few minutes without speaking. You will feel connected not only with the “other” human being but with Life itself — and rightly so.
We are born; we live, and we die. We can see this commonality in the other.
We are people with organs, we breathe, eat, and excrete.
We are like the others. We inhale the air that the “others” just exhaled. The atoms from the air we breathe are fed into our bodies. The same applies to the food we eat, the beverages we drink, the minerals, the water, the plants, and the animals. …